A Holy Dissatisfaction

SanJuanDelSur

Sometimes… the words just aren’t there.  It’s about these same times that a frustrating restlessness sets in.  There is this unmet longing that I can’t muster up the mental capacity to truly articulate.  This… is one of those times.  Well, these days…weeks, even.

My creativity is shot and nothing seems to quench what seems to be a “Holy dissatisfaction” with my direction and stance.  I use the word “Holy” because I truly believe God places yearnings in our heart that tie directly to His calling for our lives.  And every so often, we catch a glimpse of what could be, but see no opportunities, resources, open doors, you name it to move forward into what I can best describe as true REST in Him.  Shalom.  The peace that surpasses understanding when we are rooted and active in God’s presence.

And I have to stop myself dead in my train of thought because what I personally associate with this peace is actually being active in the commotion of pursuing it… when, ultimately, even the periods of restlessness and waiting should be cloaked in it.

Which leads to tonight.  I started playing a song I wrote a couple years ago that only a handful of people have ever heard.  The words, though, cut directly through my selfish and impatient longings for action.  And looking back on what was written… I know the lyrics were not my own.  So while the words aren’t present for me right now, God placed them on my heart for such a time as this.

Below are the lyrics to the song, titled “Rest”.  I initially wrote the chorus based on Psalm 4:8.

If you’re currently in a season of struggle, doubt, or restlessness, I pray that these words and the scripture upon which it is based will echo in your soul and change your heart.

REST (PSALM 4:8)
Verse 1:

Lost in a sea of doubts, I find my trouble

Lost in Your arms, I’m finding thee

Drowning in selfish worth, each breath a struggle

Drowning in grace, You breathe for me

Chorus:

In peace, I will lie down and sleep

For you alone God give me rest

You make me dwell in safety, Lord

You make me dwell in safety

Verse 2:

Bound up and bruised by fears I think preserve me

Bound by Your Word, I live in Truth

What can You make of failure?  Trading death for life, I’m blinded to see

Broken, restored, forgiven, free

Chorus:

In peace, I will lie down and sleep

For you alone God give me rest

You make me dwell in safety, Lord

You make me dwell in safety

Bridge:

What does it take to change this heart?

Chorus (x3)

You make me dwell, You make me dwell

Reaching out

My hand

I pray

You Lord

Don’t leave me… don’t leave me… don’t leave me…

 

In Christ,

Josh

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